todayijustneedlogo

I think I’ve had a huge misconception of God until recently. Scratch that, I KNOW I’ve had a big misconception.

I’ve believed that He is angry. I’ve believed that He works wonders in other peoples lives but couldn’t {or wouldn’t} do the same in mine. I’ve believed that He wasn’t there. I’ve believed that He’s left me alone in my pain. I’ve misconstrued His love. I’ve butchered the meaning of His grace. My small mind has always kept Him in a very small box.

But recently, He has begun a new work in me. A work of revelation and a new perspective. 

I’ve been setting my alarm to wake up at a time when the sun is rising above the line of gorgeous trees above our house. At a time when my sweet husband and baby boy are still asleep in their beds.

alarm

I go out to my back porch, sit in a chair that faces the sunrise and I do something I’ve never done before.

I just let Him love me.

I’ll admit, it felt really awkward at first…but every day just keeps getting better and better.

I try not to get in His way by thinking a million thoughts, asking for blessings, trying to figure stuff out {even though it’s really hard!}. I just sit still and bask in His glory and wait for Him to come fill me up with Love for the day.

And just as the sun peaks it’s head over the trees and the warm rays hit my face…I feel it. I know now, for the first time that I am deeply loved…in a crazy, reckless way that I still don’t understand.

1755137

When I’m having a rough day, I can say to my husband “I just need you to hold me right now.” and he always does. I love the way I melt into his arms and that feeling of being held by some one who adores you.

And now I do the same thing with God. I wake up in the morning and I just need Him to hold me.

I want Him to pour His Love into me. Fill me. Breathe truth into me. Give me life. Change my perspective and most importantly…rid me of myself so I can be more like His Son.

And though I’ve only been doing this morning ritual for a little over a week, things have changed. I’m beginning to see Him as GOOD in ALL THINGS. Even in my messes, mistakes, struggles, hurdles, hurts…I’m starting to see them as GOOD too.

I realized He’s not angry with me, or with any of His children. Ever.

I see His presence now in more situations, which is helping me understand that He truly is always with me. 

And I’m starting a process of looking back on past hurts and asking Him to show me where He was during that time. And He always shows up. He really was always faithful. Unfortunately, it was ME who was not.

This is still all so new to me, even though I’ve been a Christian for 14 years.

I’ve stopped expecting some big huge “miracle-break-through-struck-by-lighting” moment and learned to accept that He does things in His own time…and that transformation is a process. And I’m starting to be ok with that.

He strongly desires these back porch, sunrise moments with ALL of us. Not just me.

Let’s do this together.

Let’s just let Him Love us…and see what happens. 

signature

 

2baa842c1eb81d5ed00fe44baea9fd0d

12 comments on “Today, I just need You to love me
  1. Grams says:

    Xoxoxo

  2. Amber says:

    Amen Sister!!!

  3. Corryn Truesdell says:

    Cherisse,
    Thank you for this reminder. Thank you for sharing your journey. It’s refreshing. It’s relevant and it’s so good. Thanks for truth today. Xoxo Corryn

  4. Jen Silvis says:

    Beautiful post, Cherisse! I love your transparency! XO

  5. corieclark says:

    So beautiful, Cherisse! I love seeing what God is doing with you and I’m so thankful that you’re sharing it with the rest of the world! We need to experience this love!

  6. Kayla says:

    You blow me away more and more everyday sister. This post oozes feelings of raw honesty, love and clarity. Thank you for sharing

  7. Joni says:

    Love this! Thanks for sharing!

  8. April Best says:

    I want to do this! I just wake up in time to leave, and just don’t know how to do this…thank you for sharing!

Leave a Reply